Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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