awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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