OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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