I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
