he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
no. you can't hotbox the world.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
