There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Can I color on your dick again?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize