But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize