omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
