going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
