My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
