Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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