he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize