Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
