Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
