I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Sorry about my life...
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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