I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
