so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize