There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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