Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
