I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize