Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
