I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Do vagina's smell?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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