Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
