I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
