Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
