I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
my phone needs a breathalizer
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
