Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
