i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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