I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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