Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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