She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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