Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
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