this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
