ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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