And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
