just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
im holly from the hills drunk
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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