So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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