Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Text me some of your sweat
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
