It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize