im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
being pregnant is like rehab
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
