her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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