giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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