Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
my mouth tastes like poor choices
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Randomize
