ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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