you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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