textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
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