Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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