I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
