Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
