Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Just high enough for therapy.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
