birth control should be required to get into college
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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