it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
