You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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