I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
