and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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