careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
