3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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