Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
