Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
