Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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