your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
